What's next, a Vespa?

Last night, I purchased a guitar. Do I know how to play it? Nope. Am I signed up for lessons? Negatory. Am I an idiot for thinking that I can teach myself? Probably. I'm trying to figure out what brought on this sudden impulse to learn how to play the guitar. I think it may be a combination of boredom and a mid-twenties crisis (what am I doing with my life/I'm almost a quarter of a century old). Yep.

I'm pretty sure that the guy at the Island Music thought that I was a total flake. I went in there with no idea what I was doing or what I was looking for. This is how I started off at the store, with nonsensical words inserted where he used guitar terms that meant absolutely nothing to me:

Me: "Hi. I'm here to look at some guitars."
Guitar Guy: "Well, are you looking for a wizzgig or a framdoodle? Or are you more into something with a wooden jigamafrump? We've sold quite a few of those lately."
Me: "..."

At this point he realized that I had no clue what he was talking about, pulled some instruments off the wall, and explained some of the basics.

Then he started to warm up to his topic:

Guitar Guy: "This one is great because the bumbersmack is wood and that gives you a great sound."
Me: (sounding interested) "Uh huh."
Guitar Guy: "But there is something to be said about this style of frackenwap. Easy for a beginner to handle."
Me: (starting to resemble a donut: glazed *ba-dump ching*) "Yeah."
Guitar Guy: "And THIS one is amazing because of its woogly zamboni in a wamplum bleep fritter..."

At this point I think I may have been drooling a little bit out of the corner of my mouth.

I ended up picking up a nice, mellow-sounding guitar that I liked the look of (Guitar Guy approved, so it must have been okay). I can pick out a chromatic scale and four chords. The ultimate goal for now is to learn how to play "Space Oddity" 'cause that song is awesome.

The CM tells it like it is.

I was re-introduced to this picture on Hyperbole and a Half:

 

 Once again, it made me laugh so hard that people around me looked at me like they doubted my sanity. But seriously, I agree with Cookie Monster. Parents seem determined to wrap their kids in cotton these days. Working for an after school program, I caught myself the other day thinking about the appropriateness of "Hangman." The I gave myself a mental kick in the butt; of course it is. Every kid should know how to play Hangman.

Does it seem odd to anyone else that we let kids play a game where a metaphorical person's life hangs in the balance? I was playing with some of my third graders the other day, and I'm fairly certain the little shits were purposely guessing the wrong letters because they thought it was funny. How hard is it to guess "CANDY" for pete's sake? 

I have a sudden mental flash of the Coliseum with a bunch of grade schoolers in the stands, all pointing their thumbs down.

In other news, the download of "The Lost Mind of Dr. Brain" failed, but I found a download for the Dr. Quandary game instead. The picture is pixelated and incredibly shitty (my eyes almost hurt when I switched back to the regular desktop screen because of the sharpness) and for some reason there's no music, but I played it until I beat it anyway. I also found a download for "Lemmings," but I think that one is so old that there's no hope of it actually working on my computer ever.

Going back to Muppets, has everyone seen this?





Edit: While pointedly NOT working on a self-evaluation paper for speech, I ran across an online version of Lemmings. Success!

Things that make you feel like a doofus.

1. Pushing or pulling inappropriately when using a door.

This also includes pushing on the hinge side of the door. And why the hell do they put knobs on doors that you have to push to get through? I think building planners do it on purpose just so they have something to snicker about.

2. Thinking of something funny when you're walking by yourself and smiling or laughing to yourself.

This inevitably happens when you are around a lot of people. I don't mean walking-down-the-street busy, I mean sitting-in-a-bus-stop-when-it's-negative-one-bajillion-degrees-outside-so-everyone-is-crammed-together busy. And once I start thinking of something funny, I can't stop. Thank god for texting; I usually resort to whipping out my phone and pretending I'm having an amusing text convo with a witty friend.


Aaaand.... music!

I downloaded Veckatimest by Grizzly Bear from Amazon the other day. I like and recommend!




Also something that makes me feel silly: trying to say "Veckatimest." I can never remember what the album title actually is so end up saying something like "vicikaticest," which sounds like a villain off of SWAT Kats or some type of insect incest. If there is such a thing.

I think Mario might have gotten a water balloon to the nuts.

I had my iTunes set to shuffle today, and there were some good songs that I had forgotten about.

First up is a song by Adam Gilbert. For some reason the song reminds me of Jesus Christ Superstar. The music video is weird as snake shoes, but mildly entertaining.




Next up: "Midnight Apt. #9 Blues" by Mike Therieau. I got this from the iLike application on facebook a while back.




Man, I could do this all night. I'll curb myself and leave you with one more. No idea if this band has a deal anywhere or is independently releasing music, but I love their sound. Here's "Dear Miss Bliss" by cinderpop.




Edit: I just noticed that two out of the three songs have pizzicato in them. I'm trying to decide if a song that incorporated all of my weird musical likes (banjo, pizzicato, and bagpipes) would be indescribably awesome or terrible. Probably terrible.

Banjo equals win.

I promised you music. Here it is.

First up is the Mynabirds. I was killing some time in Homer's in the Old Market and randomly picked up their CD. A little bluesy, a little jazzy, and all good stuff.






And to continue with the food fighting theme, here's a music video from Travis. Not a new band, but great music.




And last but certainly not least is the video for "Little Lion Man" by Mumford & Sons. I saw them at Lollapalooza, and they are amazing. I totally dig the banjo. For those of you who have read East of Eden, they also have a song called "Timshel;" some of the lyrics are taken straight from the novel.




And yes, I do spend quite a bit of time on the YouTube.