What's next, a Vespa?

Last night, I purchased a guitar. Do I know how to play it? Nope. Am I signed up for lessons? Negatory. Am I an idiot for thinking that I can teach myself? Probably. I'm trying to figure out what brought on this sudden impulse to learn how to play the guitar. I think it may be a combination of boredom and a mid-twenties crisis (what am I doing with my life/I'm almost a quarter of a century old). Yep.

I'm pretty sure that the guy at the Island Music thought that I was a total flake. I went in there with no idea what I was doing or what I was looking for. This is how I started off at the store, with nonsensical words inserted where he used guitar terms that meant absolutely nothing to me:

Me: "Hi. I'm here to look at some guitars."
Guitar Guy: "Well, are you looking for a wizzgig or a framdoodle? Or are you more into something with a wooden jigamafrump? We've sold quite a few of those lately."
Me: "..."

At this point he realized that I had no clue what he was talking about, pulled some instruments off the wall, and explained some of the basics.

Then he started to warm up to his topic:

Guitar Guy: "This one is great because the bumbersmack is wood and that gives you a great sound."
Me: (sounding interested) "Uh huh."
Guitar Guy: "But there is something to be said about this style of frackenwap. Easy for a beginner to handle."
Me: (starting to resemble a donut: glazed *ba-dump ching*) "Yeah."
Guitar Guy: "And THIS one is amazing because of its woogly zamboni in a wamplum bleep fritter..."

At this point I think I may have been drooling a little bit out of the corner of my mouth.

I ended up picking up a nice, mellow-sounding guitar that I liked the look of (Guitar Guy approved, so it must have been okay). I can pick out a chromatic scale and four chords. The ultimate goal for now is to learn how to play "Space Oddity" 'cause that song is awesome.