The post has no title, just words and a tune.

Look guys, I did a thing.

Plants! That I haven't killed yet!

This thing, too.

Kind of a crap picture, but I made a new earring holder.  

My wall used to look much better when I could hang all of my extra purses up. Why do my 3M hooks keep falling off? Damn you, humidity.

So I haven't been posting much, which is mostly a product of me not really having anything to write about. To be a little more honest, though I've had things that I could have written about, I've been having a bit of a hard time being positive lately; there is enough negativity out there on the internet without me adding to it. That being said, I've wanted to write this for a while but the words never seemed to sound like I wanted them to. Even now this is way more woe-is-me than I'd prefer.

I haven't been very happy lately. I seem to be having a lot of ups and downs in my mood since the beginning of summer and I'm still trying to put my finger on why. Before anyone asks, no, I am not PMS-ing; I hate it when, A) women use that as an excuse for why they are being assholes, or B) men use it as a reason why women are "bitchy." None of that crap, thanks. My uterus thanks you to keep it out of the conversation.

It could be because of my summer job. It involves doing a lot of things that I haven't done before and I'm feeling a certain amount of anxiety about that. It's natural, I think, to worry about messing things up when you're doing them on your own for the first few times.

Then again, I could be feeling anxious about next year. Guys, I am going to be doing surgery next year. I will be cutting into an animal that is under anesthesia, removing bits, and suturing them back up. That shit is scary. What if I fuck up? I am not practicing on a suture board or a dismembered dog leg at that point; my mistakes will have very real consequences. 

I also have no idea what I want to do with my life after vet school. After so many years in a higher education facility, I have very little idea of how to be anything but a student. Do I want to go into a general private practice? I spent a few days at a veterinary ophthalmologist's clinic recently; I really enjoyed my time there and thought that it was extremely interesting. Should I specialize? Are my grades good enough to be competitive for a residency? The further I get into vet school the more I realize how little I actually know about the career; again, scary as hell.

I'm sorry whoever stumbles upon this and reads it. It's not happy, is kind of crap writing, and doesn't really have a point. Sometimes putting concerns out in the air, whether it be via written or spoken word, helps me to organize them in my head. I've made a few aborted attempts to talk about this with my friends but the conversation never seemed to get anywhere. So blog post.

Come back later. I will have attempted to make things humorous again. Promise.

Ba-dump ching.