DABDA. See? I paid attention in psych lecture.

The Kubler-Ross model as applied to studying for pulmonary physiology:

1. Denial

"I'll study pulmonary later. The concepts aren't THAT difficult."

2. Anger

"I'M GOING TO KILL THIS PROBLEM SET WITH A RUSTY SPORK AND SET IT ON FIRE."

3. Bargaining

"Alright, after I get through this lecture I'm going to spend just five minutes on Pinterest."
*An hour passes*

"Well, shit."

4. Depression

"I am the worst. Vet student. Ever. If I don't learn these equations, I'm going to kill my patients. Probably as soon as they walk into the exam room. DOOOOOOOOM."

5. Acceptance (or more accurately, apathy)

"Whatever. I'm going to write a blog post."

Yes, master.

I would be limping around the room while hunched over with one eye squinched up if I weren't sitting in a large lecture hall full of people.

Bad news: I deleted the mummified squirrel picture at some point. Good news: the development of the lungs and subsequent indentation of the coelomic cavity in a developing mammal looks like Darth Vader's fighter from Star Wars.

Aaand dog lung.

Update: I thought that I remembered where I tossed the squirrel mummy; turns out I was right, but thanks to the amount of rain we've gotten since the time I tossed it out there it is no longer a mummy. It looks like dirty wet leather with bits of fur and some bones sticking out.

It was pretty gross. So I took a picture and set it on top of a fence post to dry out a bit and serve as a warning to all of the other squirrels.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

I'm freezing me bits off! Y'know, if I had bits.

Do you ever suddenly realize that you are a far stranger person than you originally thought? I certainly do. Quite often. I keep running across these funny little blips of post ideas that I've written down. None of them have come to fruition (obviously), but they make me tilt my head a bit.

"Things that make me feel old - flipping my mattress (haven't done it yet, but I've though about it and thinking about flipping a mattress... well I just don't know)"

"A lemming has taken up residence in my sinuses. When it rains the little bastard breaks out his hammer and chisel and starts working on my turbinates. I think he's probably recreated some of the greats - Michaelangelo's David, the Venus de Milo, the Thinker, etc. I bet he could make some pretty sweet nose hair topiaries too."

"Over break, I proved to myself that I could tell the difference between an ostrich and a goose as well as the differences between a walrus and a rhinocerous. I think I'm ready for my DVM now. (So close, Amy. You were so close.)"

I vote the middle as the strangest. To be fair, I was probably in pain and on large amounts of decongestants at the time.

Moving on.

Check this out.

What IS that, you say? Well, friends and neighbors, that would be my thermometer ma-jigger that lets me know what the ambient temperature is both outside and inside my house. Yep, it is 55 degrees inside. This is something that won't be fixed until tomorrow morning.

So I'm making cookies. Because the oven is basically a space heater that can produce tasty nommables. And baking is way more fun than studying pharmacology.

Procrastination is sweet. It tastes like chocolate-and-butterscotch chips.

My dog, in addition to being my fuzzy spaceheater, has taken it upon herself to be the finder of random sort-of-edible things in the backyard (for a dog, I mean; I wouldn't want to ingest anything she finds).

INSERT CUTE DOG PICTURE HERE. Oh wait, that's what I just did.

The first was a mummified squirrel earlier this year. I have a picture because I thought it was kind of neat, but I am trying to remember that not everyone is as thrilled with animal carcasses as I am. I also have a video of a fresh dog lung being inflated that I took last week which was TOTALLY WICKED but would also probably gross most people out.

But really, you should see it. Who needs a desert for natural mummification? Not squirrels, apparently.

Today Tess brought me two bones.

The first is what I think is part of a sacrum (yesssss, I am totally on my way to being a learned doctor). The second is a long bone from a bird since it is hollow, but I'm not sure which one. I'm thinking humerus and the attached bones are a rib and the coracoid.

I am a nerd.

Also, I don't know if you've noticed but this post, like so many others, really has no point and has gone on for far too long. The witty and somewhat humorous (humerus? PUNS) posts have gone bye bye for the time being. Sorry, kids. 


P.S. Steven Moffat, you are on my list. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID.

P.P.S. For context, Steven Moffat is the creator of Sherlock. "The Reichenbach Fall" simultaneously made me want to cheer and to stab someone with a rusty fork.

Excerpts from my Notes: Part II.

Occasionally I get bored in lecture. Or there is a picture that's strikes me as amusing. Or my brain decides that it will rebel and instead of actually incorporating the class material in some sort of meaningful way it's going to kick out something moderately silly and mostly unhelpful.

It was discovered in early 2009 that horse lymph nodes were, in fact, clusters of green grapes. Scientists are unsure of what function these sugary masses serve, but state that they "make great snacks."

Pig lymph nodes are on steroids, so they have leveled up from "node" to "center." I think they get some sweet new weapons or magical abilities or something.

Baskin-Robbins flavor of the day: Brain Stem. Now with more vomiting centers!

Someone get this man a Norelco, stat.

I blame you, brain.

Yup. Grammar Nazi.

I saw this:

I present to you, dear readers, my reaction in pictures.

First came the disbelief.

Then came the rage.

Vet school is a sea of snark.

Going back over my histology notes is rather fun. This is why:

And from a neuro review, courtesy of a friend:

I wish I could take credit for this brilliance.

I did not write this. Sadly. I do not yet have Dr. Graves for an instructor, but you have NO IDEA how excited I am for that time to come. This is an excerpt from the Tenesmus Times (Vol. 3, Issue 2), the vet med newsletter.

WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT??

Match the Dr. Graves quote with the correct subject.

1. It's about as uncommon as a Baptist church without a schoolbus.

2. This looks like a cat sitting on the stomach of a pregnant alien.

3. Strike three and it's time to remove the penis.

4. You will treat it overnight, and it will look like six pounds of shit in a five pound bag.

5. Just palpate Barbie's butt; wiggle your finger across the back of her crack.

If you are at all interested in actually trying to match them, here are your choices:

A. Cat with hypoadrenocorticism

B. Urethral obstruction

C. Palpating the prostate

D. Hyperthyroidism in cats

E. Neutrophil in glomerulus

Happy matching!