The outhouse wall calendar exists.

I am officially employed. Sort of.

Upon returning to Wisconsin to live with my parents, I was determined that I would be financially independent. I don't know why, but accepting money from my parents has always made me a bit uncomfortable. And how lame would I feel living off of my parents at 24? I started looking online and in the classifieds and saw a seasonal listing for Borders. I thought, "I like books" and filled out the application (which involved a personality assessment; I always find those difficult to fill out because I think too much and the questions are crap and only offer the same four answer options for each question).

A few days later I got a call and went in for an interview. Long story short, I was hired and am now selling calendars. Wait, what? Oh yeah, the seasonal book store isn't set up yet, so I have to work at the Day by Day Calendars kiosk at the mall. Yup, I feel cool.

In addition to the cool factor, there are some pretty sweet rules that I'm supposed to follow:

1) You must remain within three feet of the kiosk at all times. Working a seven hour shift? You cannot pee or grab something to eat or drink. I must conclude that to work at this kiosk you must have a bladder capable of holding Lake Superior and must be able to live off of the food smells that come from the pretzel stand that is farther down the wing.

2) You are not allowed to have any personal effects at the kiosk. Having your monthly visitor? Too bad! You can't go to the bathroom anyway, so having tampons would just be a useless gesture anyway.

3) No jeans. All I have to say is eff that noise.

In the few shifts I have worked, I have had my cell phone with me, turned off the register monitor while running to the bathroom, and worn jeans. Now, lest you think I am a rule-breaking rabblerouser, I have been told by four other people working that those rules are crap and feel free to break them discreetly. For $7.25 an hour, thanks, I will.

In other news, Tess got a haircut. She now looks less like a mop and more like a dog:

And for another random thought (you were warned), I highly recommend The Reanimator, a dark roast coffee from Just Coffee Cooperative. It's fair trade and shade grown, and the art on the bag is a reasonably accurate depiction of me in the morning before a caffeine infusion.