Morose is a good word. I think it's a pretty good description of my mood lately. I don't really know what is causing my morose-ness (Morosity? Morosivity?). And I seem to fluctuate between feeling fine and feeling not quite happy.
Maybe I'm lonely. That's stupid, since I have wonderful friends in the area, but it's possible.
The other possible reason is that, once again, I've forgotten how to say "no." I'm doing a lot of stuff right now, including volunteer work with a few animal rescue/adoption organizations, taking classes, and working two jobs. And I don't really want to give any of it up, for various reasons.
I actually LIKE working in the book store; I like books, and I like it when people ask me for a suggestion. The other day I sold a copy of A Wrinkle in Time to a woman who was buying the Pretty Little Liars series for her niece. Now I know that that little girl has at least one good book for Christmas! My other job hasn't really started yet, but I'll be running "Centers" for an after school program in Menasha. From my understanding I'll be running "fun" learning activities. I'm feeling alternately capable and overwhelmed when it comes to this job; I don't have any set protocols or activities since the guy who ran this last year sucked royally. I think the "overwhelmed" is contributing a lot to my current blue funk. I know that I can ask anyone in the program for assistance, but I've always been self-reliant and I hate asking for help. Stupid but true.
The volunteering should probably be the first thing I cut down on, but I would feel like a terrible person for doing it. I've also convinced myself that it will help me get into vet school, even though I've already sent in my applications.
I'm finding classes at UWO... frustrating. That's all I'm going to say on THAT matter.
I'm probably spreading myself too thin. But I've always done too many things at once so doing less makes me feel restless. Right now I just don't feel quite satisfied, and I'm probably trying to keep myself busy to cover it up.
Sorry for everyone who was looking for an amusing post; I'm feeling lame today. I'm going to go make some banana bread now. That always makes life better.
Banana bread does always make life better - I hope it helps this time. I have a special playlist on my computer for "feeling crappy" days. Including songs like "Defying Gravity" from Wicked, "This is the Moment" from Jekyll and Hyde, etc. Those are the uplifting ones - I'm not going to share the songs I listen to when I want to wallow in self-pity... Feel better!
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