The post has no title, just words and a tune.

Look guys, I did a thing.

Plants! That I haven't killed yet!

This thing, too.

Kind of a crap picture, but I made a new earring holder.  

My wall used to look much better when I could hang all of my extra purses up. Why do my 3M hooks keep falling off? Damn you, humidity.

So I haven't been posting much, which is mostly a product of me not really having anything to write about. To be a little more honest, though I've had things that I could have written about, I've been having a bit of a hard time being positive lately; there is enough negativity out there on the internet without me adding to it. That being said, I've wanted to write this for a while but the words never seemed to sound like I wanted them to. Even now this is way more woe-is-me than I'd prefer.

I haven't been very happy lately. I seem to be having a lot of ups and downs in my mood since the beginning of summer and I'm still trying to put my finger on why. Before anyone asks, no, I am not PMS-ing; I hate it when, A) women use that as an excuse for why they are being assholes, or B) men use it as a reason why women are "bitchy." None of that crap, thanks. My uterus thanks you to keep it out of the conversation.

It could be because of my summer job. It involves doing a lot of things that I haven't done before and I'm feeling a certain amount of anxiety about that. It's natural, I think, to worry about messing things up when you're doing them on your own for the first few times.

Then again, I could be feeling anxious about next year. Guys, I am going to be doing surgery next year. I will be cutting into an animal that is under anesthesia, removing bits, and suturing them back up. That shit is scary. What if I fuck up? I am not practicing on a suture board or a dismembered dog leg at that point; my mistakes will have very real consequences. 

I also have no idea what I want to do with my life after vet school. After so many years in a higher education facility, I have very little idea of how to be anything but a student. Do I want to go into a general private practice? I spent a few days at a veterinary ophthalmologist's clinic recently; I really enjoyed my time there and thought that it was extremely interesting. Should I specialize? Are my grades good enough to be competitive for a residency? The further I get into vet school the more I realize how little I actually know about the career; again, scary as hell.

I'm sorry whoever stumbles upon this and reads it. It's not happy, is kind of crap writing, and doesn't really have a point. Sometimes putting concerns out in the air, whether it be via written or spoken word, helps me to organize them in my head. I've made a few aborted attempts to talk about this with my friends but the conversation never seemed to get anywhere. So blog post.

Come back later. I will have attempted to make things humorous again. Promise.

Ba-dump ching.

Excerpts from My Notes Part Finals-Are-Long-Over

I swear I haven't completely abandoned this blog.

It's only MOSTLY abandoned.

Without further ado, I present to you silly things from my notes.

 

 

 

Excerpts from My Notes: Part I-Should-Be-Studying

There are way more of these that I didn't put on here; we talked about death and disease a lot this semester, so I had to keep it light somehow, right?

I'll never forget Oesophagostamum.

 

Hitler Cat was just funny at the time.

Culex? Like the Final Fantasy boss that shows up in Super Mario RPG? No? Okay.

Exams are Thursday and Friday, and I'm at this point:

I really should be trying to cram more into my brain.

Do, a deer, a Borrelia-infested deer

Re, my god is that the sun?

Mi, so much time spent studying

Fa, ...ck this, vet school isn't fun

So, a simple continous pattern

La, I think my brain is full

Tea, there's not enough caffeine

 Finals will bring us back to "do!"

My exam is in 2.5 hours, you guys. Really should be reviewing more.

I'm just gonna go curl up in my sock drawer...

This sounds super bratty, friends, and it makes me feel and sound like a terrible person to say it, but here goes.

I am used to getting what I want.

There we go. I said it. In high school and college I was really involved in a variety of organizations, had really good grades, and could give a bitchin' interview. If I wanted a job or position, 95% of the time it was mine.

Cue vet school.

If my frustration had a physical maniferstation, I imagine that it would look like a slightly confused caveman.

Everyone here is smart, friends. Everyone is involved in clubs and did a ton of cool shit in undergrad and studied abroad and is generally an interesting person, which is really awesome most of the time. Who wants to hang out with dull people all day? No one, least of all this girl. It is less awesome when you are competing with all of your classmates for a handful of positions for the summer.

(And before I get too far into my deep, dank pity-well of "meeeeaaahhhh I never get anything I apply for anymore," I would like to remind myself that I was one of six people hired at the poison control center last summer. Suck it up, me.)

Earlier this weekend, I helped to put on a comedy skit/talent show at the vet school (Hitler Goes to Vet School won this year). Because the committee had to be outside until right before the show started, there were reserved seats. When I went in to sit down, I discovered that someone had taken my reserved seat and I was told that because this person was ahead of me in vet school she deserved a good seat. That, my friends, was a load of mustelid excrement which is the foulest poop I can think of.

I have to ask myself if I have been thinking about summer vet student jobs with the same mindset as this senior vet student approached stealing my seat. Acting as if you are entitled to something, whether it be a good seat at a show or an internship that you think you deserve just because, is not attractive and makes those around you uncomfortable. So. To all of my classmates applying for the same internships and jobs that I am, I wish you luck! We are all qualified and I know that whoever is best for the position will be chosen.

That being said, this is how I felt after hearing that a friend of mine had gotten a summer job that I applied for:

 

 

I blame it on the mustache cookie cutter.

Every once in a while, I think that it's a good idea to make cut-out cookies and decorate them. I know that you, dear reader, are curious as to my process. "Katy," you're thinking, "Shrek-snot cupcakes aside, you're a pretty good baker. How do you go about making these cookies?"

As a special treat, I've written down my process. Enjoy!

1. Make dough according to recipe and refrigerate.

2. After 3-4 hours of refrigerator time, pull out dough. Select cookie cutters. Preheat oven and prep pans with parchment paper of appropriate size.

3. Apply what seems to be a sufficient amount of flour to work surface and to rolling pin. Add more for good measure.

4. Try to roll dough and have it stick to everything. Swear a bit.

5. Tear off a piece of parchment paper and apply to the top of dough. Be momentarily happy as the rolling pin is no longer sticking. Proceed to have emotional 180 as the dough sticks to the parchment paper when it is peeled off of the cookie dough.

6. Apply approximately all of the flour you have in the bin to your rolling surface in irritation. Realize that that amount is a bit excessive and scrape some to the side.

7. Roll stuff out and punch out shapes. Mutter "mother*bleeping* bunnies" under your breath as the cut outs still stick.

Frickin' bunnies.

8. Bake. Take a quick break to take some picture of yourself with a cookie mustache.

"Let's try something. Raise your eyebrow."

"Now raise the other eyebrow."

"Now make a face like a walrus. Perfect! That's a wrap."

9. Cut out more shapes and bake some more.

10. BAKE FOREVER. THE RECIPE YOU FOLLOWED MAKES ENOUGH DOUGH FOR SIX TRILLION COOKIES.

All right! Now that you've baked everything, it's fun decorating time!

11. Mix up some powdered sugar and a bit of water for frosting. Mix. Add color. Mix again.

12. Add more water to your frosting since it's too thick.

13. Add more powdered sugar since it's now too runny.

14. Repeat steps 12-13 until you say "good enough," but not before you've made about twice as much frosting as you wanted.

15. Decorate.

Insert mustache pun here.

16. Think that you've maybe gone through about a quarter of your cookies. Check to see how many cookies you actually have left.

So. Many.

17. Decide to call it a night and watch the Golden Globes.

It seems much worse when I write it out.

I've slowly come to realize that I have a pretty regular weekly progression for effort put into my appearance. That weekly progression, unfortunately, takes the form of a downward spiral.

It goes as follows.

Monday

It's a new week! I'm going to shower and put product in my hair and put makeup on my face! Isn't life wonderful?!

Tuesday:

I suppose I'll take a shower and I guess I'll do my hair. I wear glasses, so nobody can really tell if I'm wearing eye makeup or not, right?

Wednesday:

I showered for the past two days, so I think I've earned myself a miss. Hey, sleeping in is important! I'll do something about my face so it looks like I put in effort.

Thursday:

Meh. I'll just pull my hair back. It's not that greasy...

Friday:

Fuck it. Everyone knows I'm a slob anyway.  

Saturday:

SWEATPANTS. SWEATPANTS AND SPORTS BRAS FOREVER. 

Sunday:

I have the best pillow head ever. 'twould be a shame to ruin it.


There's a shower somewhere in the later part of the week; I'm not quite that disgusting. Except during finals week. Standards do not apply at that time.