I have no cheese, and other tales of woe.

Hey folks. I haven't written anything in quite a while, mainly because I didn't have anything that could really be turned into a good post. I still don't have a good topic, but I wanted to let everyone know what things are going on in my life.

So I wrote some haikus. Enjoy.

A stuffed Hamlet mouse?
Inappropriate stories?
I gotta read this

Signed bookplate came in the mail yesterday. YESSSS.

Making a sandwich
Grocery shopped yesterday
Why is there no cheese?

I seriously spent ten minutes searching for that damned cheese. It was a sad sandwich.

Very sorry that

I went with the walk signal

Right of way bitches

Two-way stops mean to

“Hit brakes,” not continue through

Phone down, douche nugget

A short PSA: please be aware of bikers. I have almost been hit several times when I had the right-of-way. I would rather not end up street pizza, and I imagine that most other cyclists feel similarly.

Man who worked on car

saw paper - “BACON MOFOS!”

I swear I’m normal

My horse study guide was titled "Shoot it."

Horse penis is weird

Described as “telescoping”

Never again please

This, my worst score yet

I can’t bring myself to care

I’m done with repro

Compass scores are wrong?

Heck yes, clerical error

Ten more points for me

I peed myself some

because of my excitement

Lollapalooza!

And from a dog's perspective:

Love peanut butter

but I feel like Tantalus

my tongue won’t quite reach

Gratuitous Tess photo. You're welcome.

I realize that most of these were not tales of woe (or even tales, really; they were poetry), but "other tales of woe" is a silly phrase when preceded by a statement of one's lack of dairy products.