I'm just gonna go curl up in my sock drawer...

This sounds super bratty, friends, and it makes me feel and sound like a terrible person to say it, but here goes.

I am used to getting what I want.

There we go. I said it. In high school and college I was really involved in a variety of organizations, had really good grades, and could give a bitchin' interview. If I wanted a job or position, 95% of the time it was mine.

Cue vet school.

If my frustration had a physical maniferstation, I imagine that it would look like a slightly confused caveman.

Everyone here is smart, friends. Everyone is involved in clubs and did a ton of cool shit in undergrad and studied abroad and is generally an interesting person, which is really awesome most of the time. Who wants to hang out with dull people all day? No one, least of all this girl. It is less awesome when you are competing with all of your classmates for a handful of positions for the summer.

(And before I get too far into my deep, dank pity-well of "meeeeaaahhhh I never get anything I apply for anymore," I would like to remind myself that I was one of six people hired at the poison control center last summer. Suck it up, me.)

Earlier this weekend, I helped to put on a comedy skit/talent show at the vet school (Hitler Goes to Vet School won this year). Because the committee had to be outside until right before the show started, there were reserved seats. When I went in to sit down, I discovered that someone had taken my reserved seat and I was told that because this person was ahead of me in vet school she deserved a good seat. That, my friends, was a load of mustelid excrement which is the foulest poop I can think of.

I have to ask myself if I have been thinking about summer vet student jobs with the same mindset as this senior vet student approached stealing my seat. Acting as if you are entitled to something, whether it be a good seat at a show or an internship that you think you deserve just because, is not attractive and makes those around you uncomfortable. So. To all of my classmates applying for the same internships and jobs that I am, I wish you luck! We are all qualified and I know that whoever is best for the position will be chosen.

That being said, this is how I felt after hearing that a friend of mine had gotten a summer job that I applied for:

 

 

I blame it on the mustache cookie cutter.

Every once in a while, I think that it's a good idea to make cut-out cookies and decorate them. I know that you, dear reader, are curious as to my process. "Katy," you're thinking, "Shrek-snot cupcakes aside, you're a pretty good baker. How do you go about making these cookies?"

As a special treat, I've written down my process. Enjoy!

1. Make dough according to recipe and refrigerate.

2. After 3-4 hours of refrigerator time, pull out dough. Select cookie cutters. Preheat oven and prep pans with parchment paper of appropriate size.

3. Apply what seems to be a sufficient amount of flour to work surface and to rolling pin. Add more for good measure.

4. Try to roll dough and have it stick to everything. Swear a bit.

5. Tear off a piece of parchment paper and apply to the top of dough. Be momentarily happy as the rolling pin is no longer sticking. Proceed to have emotional 180 as the dough sticks to the parchment paper when it is peeled off of the cookie dough.

6. Apply approximately all of the flour you have in the bin to your rolling surface in irritation. Realize that that amount is a bit excessive and scrape some to the side.

7. Roll stuff out and punch out shapes. Mutter "mother*bleeping* bunnies" under your breath as the cut outs still stick.

Frickin' bunnies.

8. Bake. Take a quick break to take some picture of yourself with a cookie mustache.

"Let's try something. Raise your eyebrow."

"Now raise the other eyebrow."

"Now make a face like a walrus. Perfect! That's a wrap."

9. Cut out more shapes and bake some more.

10. BAKE FOREVER. THE RECIPE YOU FOLLOWED MAKES ENOUGH DOUGH FOR SIX TRILLION COOKIES.

All right! Now that you've baked everything, it's fun decorating time!

11. Mix up some powdered sugar and a bit of water for frosting. Mix. Add color. Mix again.

12. Add more water to your frosting since it's too thick.

13. Add more powdered sugar since it's now too runny.

14. Repeat steps 12-13 until you say "good enough," but not before you've made about twice as much frosting as you wanted.

15. Decorate.

Insert mustache pun here.

16. Think that you've maybe gone through about a quarter of your cookies. Check to see how many cookies you actually have left.

So. Many.

17. Decide to call it a night and watch the Golden Globes.